Updated: Aug 8
My paternal grandmother was the only grandparent I knew growing up, but fortune smiled on me because she was one-in-a-million and greatly influenced who I am today. She was always kind, accepting, optimistic, strong, independent (she raised five children by herself), and not once did I ever hear her complain. She passed about thirty years ago and over time she has been less in my thoughts, and more of a feeling that resides in my heart.
A few days ago, I was in search of a better feeling, and observed that my inner critic was “up” in my thoughts. I sat down to meditate and spontaneously decided to ask for the souls that could most help me to create a lift and shift to come closer. I was pleasantly surprised to suddenly feel the presence of my grandmother. Instantaneously, she brought my thoughts to a memory I’d completely forgotten about.
In her final year, my grandmother had advanced Alzheimer’s but still lived at home with a full-time live in caretaker. I was back in my hometown visiting and wanted to see her one last time. I was coached to be prepared for a shock in how different she was since the last time I’d visited, and I was very aware that she wouldn’t recognize me.
As soon as I walked into her home, her eyes lit up with genuine happiness at seeing me and a huge smile spread across her face. She warmly cradled my face in the palms of her hands while repeating my name out loud several times, and then she gave me a kiss just like she always had upon seeing me when I was younger. I teared up with joy and we hugged. A real hug.
I knew why my grandmother had brought me to this memory. In that moment when I was meditating, what my soul needed to know was that I was seen, and that I was lovable. She always had a wonderful way of showing me things, instead of telling me things. All great influencers in our lives seem to embody this virtuous ability.
We are all human and need tools to draw upon to help us to remember the truth of who we are at our core. My grandmother's message is for you, too! When childhood patterns and distorted beliefs reveal themselves (again), perhaps you will also recall a memory that you can utilize to give you a lift and shift. There are endless tools to enhance our vibration and open our hearts.
Self-love precipitates the inner knowing that you are lovable, that you matter, and that you are a brilliant, beautiful spark of the Divine. Loving yourself also fosters the sharing of your innate Divine gifts in the manner your soul designed. It is a life-defining moment when we are able to grasp the concept of loving ourselves, and in turn, begin shutting down the harmful inner-critic. What a beautiful moment it is when you realize that the safest place you can live is in the sanctuary of your own heart.
My Beloved Grandmother