Is Your Abandonment Wound "Up"?
Updated: Nov 26, 2021
The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved. Mother Teresa
Virtually everyone has some level of an abandonment wound in their soul’s history that they’re bringing forth to heal. Thanks to the pandemic, this emotional wound is ‘up’ for a lot of people. And as you know, it is a common emotional wound for domesticated animals too.
Having an unresolved abandonment wound can be likened to having what I call not enough syndrome. You might have one or more of these common not enough symptoms of abandonment: Not enough time. Not enough money. Not enough food. Not enough information (to make a decision). Not enough love.
When the emotional wound of abandonment reveals itself, we might feel helpless, disempowered, and in turn, will seek people or animals to fill and sustain our loving needs. And it's okay to do this sometimes. We all go through times of needing to lean on others and receive their support. However, when we're relying on others most of the time, that's usually a sign that there's an abandonment wound that needs healed.
There might also be a pattern of turning to food, alcohol, drugs, or shopping to fill the loving needs your soul seeks.
But here’s the conundrum….it’s never enough. The longing to be loved and filled externally remains until we have moved out the emotions and distorted beliefs birthed at the time the wound was created, and in turn, find compassion and love for the self to begin reparenting the inner child in a healthy manner.
The healing goal of someone with an abandonment wound in their background is to learn to create healthy, independent relationships with the people and animals in their lives, and learn that they are lovable and can then fill themselves with the one thing they are really seeking externally: love. Until one crosses that threshold into filling the self with love, the pattern will consistently be drawn to codependent relationships with both animals and people.
The good news is that we are smack in the center of an extraordinary time powered by spirit for expedited healing! Ask the beings of light that work with you to fill all the places within you that did not get its needs met early in life. It is not your fault that you didn't get your needs. Find compassion for the part of you that has needs and then you can begin to parent yourself through the not enough fears as they arise.
Be willing to take steps to love yourself at deeper levels than ever before, knowing that these actions are the answer to having a more sustainable, loving, thriving life where all of your needs are automatically met with ease and grace!
You are so lovable and worthy of feeling empowered!
Here are four action tools to help you and your animal companions to heal this deep-seated wound at its core.
1) Love Yourself
Take five minutes a day to intentionally focus on giving yourself love and compassion. Breathe love directly to your heart and inner child. Perhaps connect with your Higher Self or Spirit Guides for support. Get comfortable giving yourself hugs. You deserve it!
2) Try using affirmations to heal your abandonment wound. Here are a few samples:
I fill myself with love with each breath.
I seek healthy attachments to others.
I have the courage to heal myself.
I am always there for me.
I am so very lovable.
3) Listen (by yourself or with your animal companion) to my "I Am Lovable ~ Healing Abandonment" free guided meditation on my YouTube channel or the free Insight Timer app.
4) To help you with any heightened level of codependency with your animal or if you are dealing with separation anxiety, here are some tips.